I’m a huge Terry Pratchett fan. So I was quite excited to see that some of my favourite Pratchett books were getting their own series. The Watch.

I’ve been a Pratchett reader for many, many years. My favourite characters (in no particular order) are Vimes, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Tiffany and Susan. I”m also very fond of Sybil Ramekin and Carrot. then there’s Vetinari, Death, and Gaspode. I could go on.

Anyway, I started watching The Watch, currently streaming on Stan.

And then, halfway through the second episode, I gave up. You see, what I was watching had characters I’ve loved for years in it, but they bore so little resemblance to the ones in my head that I simply couldn’t do it anymore.

I do understand that books don’t always translate exactly to film or television, but I’ve seen many good adaptations of books over the years. I can cope with a few changes, and I can cope with some variation in storyline because that’s just what happens.

But when, in the first episode and a half, I detected several different storylines, from several of the Watch books, I was somewhat startled. And the characters…Terry Pratchett created a marvellous world, filled with complex and complete characters who grew and developed through the course of the stories…and for whatever reason, the creators kept the names, a few of the characteristics, and then massacred the rest. (Or massacred the character quite literally.) Just a note, I can do swapped gender in characters – but generally only when it makes sense.

I’m sure people who haven’t read the books may well enjoy the series. Perhaps even some PTerry fans. But this one’s a no from me.

Chief quibbles:

1. What was wrong with a perfectly good storyline, taken from Guards, Guards? (Not one containing bits and pieces from Guards, Guards, Men At Arms, and Night Watch.) Such a mash up resulted in way too much going on at once.
2. Where were Nobby and Colon? Like, really, where were Nobby and Colon??????? How does a series based on Ankh Morpork’s Watch not include them?
3. Why was Angua introducing Carrot to the Watch, rather than the other way around (and in a subsequent series). (Note: Storyline taken from Men At Arms but not really.)
4. Um…Cheery…🤦🏽‍♀️
5. Detritus 😢 seriously?
6. Carcer and Vimes were….friends????????????? (Note, storyline taken from Night Watch and shoved into Guards, Guards because why? Isn’t a cult summoning a dragon a big enough storyline?)

Sorry, generally ranty blog post. I really wish I could have continued watching, but it was like watching a parody of Pratchett that wasn’t actually Pratchett. And I could have continued ranting but I’ll spare you that.

A seriously 1 star 1.5 episodes.