Dear Retailers of Australia,

It is not Black Friday. You have emailed me repeatedly about your sales that do not encompass Black Friday at all. You’ve also flooded the television with your ads. Are you confused? Why are you doing this?

In case you’re having calendar malfunctions, I’d like to inform you that it will not be any kind of Black Friday until the thirteenth of December.

Black Friday occurs in Australia when a Friday, and the thirteenth day of a month coincide. It has some basis in history, in case you’re uninformed – and I’m assuming you are, because your repeated emailing is nothing but crass and annoying.

Historically, in Australia, on Friday the thirteenth in January 1939, 71 people died in bushfires in Victoria, then classed as some of the worst fires in the world. They were named the ‘Black Friday Bushfires.’ Since then, we’ve had Black Saturday fires, and Ash Wednesday fires. And right now, I’m sitting inside as hot winds blow, in an area under a total fire ban, with at least 147 fires burning throughout the state of NSW.

It’s November. Summer officially starts tomorrow. And already this year’s bushfire season is already worse than anything I can remember.

We Australians grow up with the threat of bushfire. If you grew up where I did, ‘doing the burning off’ around your property was something you did every year in spring in preparation for the bushfire season.

Some people still alive today will remember Black Friday in Victoria. Most of us recall Ash Wednesday and Black Saturday quite easily, and I’m sure that the entire state of NSW is currently watching and waiting with baited breath, because we’ve woken to smoke haze, heat, and wind for weeks now. We’ve closed schools and made emergency plans for ourselves and our pets on ‘Catastrophic Days’ and we’ve thanked God for the hard work our local volunteer fire fighters have put in.

So when you (mistakenly) attempt to foist a sale upon me, based only on another country’s retail greed, after a holiday we don’t even celebrate in Australia, you disrespect the history of Australia. You also disrespect what is happening now all around us, in this one of the worst fire seasons of Australia.

So, please, put your greed somewhere else. Stop sending me emails and inflicting your ads upon me when I turn on the television. And please, respect the history of your own country.

Regards,

Me.